Sex sells. We all know it. Sometimes it’s used overtly (Britney Speers, Mick Jagger) and sometimes it’s subtle (Diana Krall, Michael Buble). The younger and better looking the performer, the higher the possibility that you or your manager will package your sexual appeal with your musical talent. And that’s fine, so long as the music comes first.
Last week I was contacted by someone representing an emerging rap artist in the States. He was twenty-ish and had already put out a few decent videos, some of them garnering almost 50,000 hits. However, he hadn’t done a lot of live performing and was looking for help in connecting better with the audience. He wasn’t holding everyone’s attention.
He’s really talented: nice writing and competent delivery. I enjoyed listening to him. He comes across like a nice guy and mostly seems to sing about love and romance. He also happens to be easy on the eyes and many would say, sexy.
And that was the problem.
I watched live footage in which he performed before a crowd of screaming girls. The shirt came off, girls took the stage one after the other to dance with him. One gave him and the camera a prolonged view of her derriere when she gyrated it near his groin. It was a soft porn spectacle. And I understand why he and his young team would put that on YouTube, and why they would repeat the spectacle again later in the video. Sex sells.
But, it also distracts. It can hide who you really are or who you are really meant to become.
You can take the stage thinking I must do everything possible to look hot because that’s how I’m being sold.
Or you can take the stage thinking I have great songs and I’m here to be the best performer I can be; I want to be proud of my artistry; I want to share my feelings, ideas, emotions with my audience.
The latter is about connecting. The former is about being on display.
When your performance is all about acting like you’re “hot” before you’ve proven yourself as a writer and performer — a real artist (and the young man I speak of can be a real artist) — then your performing comes from the wrong place. Putting yourself on display can actually make you shy or awkward on stage. It can distract you from authentic connection you must have with yourself and your fans if you want to be a great performer.
First sell us your writing and an impeccable, deeply felt delivery of the material. Connect with your inner rap/rock/pop star and forget about being sexy. And then, like magic, you’ll become authentically sexy. Not just to twenty-somethings, but to women of every age.